Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas!

And all you folks - you'd better! Look at the cute Rudolph next to you! Hey hey hey! What's up with you? Don't call him Pinocchio! It's okay, little buddy Rudolph. If they want to pick on someone, next time they'll think twice and pick on Godzilla.

See, watch out, here comes Godzilla! For real! See? All right, now let's hear the jolly part!

Where are you going for Christmas, folks? Hopefully not anywhere that Godzilla is, or inside a computer virus. What would you like for Christmas? I bet all the grownups want a nice, smooth coffee mug. Ooh, how about one that says, "I Like Fearless Maria and About Me?" That would be a really thoughtful gift, don't you think?

I bet all the kids love to play in the snow. Well, of course they do. Well, most of them. I sure do. And the grownups are sitting there shoveling and feeling like a prune. What do you have on top of your Christmas tree? Do you have a cheeseburger? Do you have a tankful of guppies? And how would that balance on top of a Christmas tree? That would be pretty tricky, don't you think?

Hey, look - maybe you have a star that says "Joy to the World, the Joy Joy Joy," with a thousand other joys behind that. Have you peeked at your presents? Don't be a naughty little girl or boy.

Now let's hear from our guest stuffed animal, Chubby.

Hewwo, my name is Chubby! The dog. Excuse me, is this microphone working? I'm twyying to do my interview, so cut it out, Marvin the Martian! Oh, sowwy sowwy sowwy. What I want for Chwistmas is the newest version of Frosty Paws! I take my Frosty Paws and dip them in mozzarella cheese. And cheddoh. And then I would also wike a twampoline that looks like a T-Bone Steak. That would be awesome! Do you have a pet at home? What is its name? Is it Wubba Wobba Weeba? Is it Cuwly Ball? I'd wove to know. So pwease send a cowment. Bye bye, folks!

Thank you very much, Chubby! We'll see you next time on the Fearless Maria Show!

ZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAABOOOOWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEE! Da da da duh da duh DAAA!

Maria

First of the Posts, First of the Birthday Bashes

I guess you know why, well, that is if you read Mr. Dilettante, or Fearless Ben's Sports Predictions, you know why I put Fearless Maria. Because those two clowns always do fearless stuff. But I'm even more fearless than those clowns.

Now you want to know why I put birthday bash? If you were to look on my other blog, About Me (www.aboutmaria.blogspot.com), on the post "Turkey Day," it was my brother's birthday. He was the first of all the birthdays at this time of year. Now tomorrow is the second. Dum da da da dum. Dum da da dum. MY DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S TURNING 44! Hooray! At least he's not old enough to be a grandpa yet, because then he wouldn't be my dad.

Oops, I forgot something. I'm very sorry my first post does not tell a lot about me. So here are some things you might want to know.

I like rock and roll.
I love the snow.
I love Christmas.
I hate having a cold, like I do now.
I do not have a pet.
My best friend is a girl named Kaley Elizabeth Lawrence.
I am a Girl Scout.
I'm one of the only girls that's favorite color is red, not exactly pink.
I love art.
I love Polly Pockets, Bratz and Barbies.
I have a bajillion stuffed animals.
My favorite animal is a dog.
I like to sing.
I like most holidays.
My teacher's name is Mr. Opheim.
My art teacher is Mr. Trampf.
My music teacher is Mrs. Krejcarek.
My science teacher is Mrs. Rieke.
My gym teacher is Mrs. Brandt.
My gym partner's a monkey. No, that's not true. That's a cartoon.
My favorite Girl Scout Cookie is the new Little Brownies.
I love to be silly.
My best friend Kaley has two cats, one named Midnight Sally, and the other Sam.
I'm in Student Council.
I want a Nintendo DS or a GameBoy Advance.
I love, and I mean LOVE, Pokemon.
But most of all, even though I might have some fears, I am mostly fearless. I am... Fearless Maria.

So there's your grapeshot of things. Here are just a couple of jokes to add.

Let's go through the weird, weird refrigerator and die! No, let's not die. But anyway, have you ever heard the song "The Turkey Shot Out of the Oven"? Here's why it shot out - whoever stuffed that turkey, stuffed it with popcorn that hadn't been popped. Figgedy figgedy foo. Who likes guinea pigs that eat goo? Little Mary Moomoopoo. It's a fancy fashion show for turkeys.
Everybody will sit in the microwave and get electric shocked by a Pikachu. Choo choo pika!

Well, that's all for the first post. Hope to see you again.

Your new narrator,

Fearless Maria